Free Relationship AdviceOff to CollegeThe page is part of Ask Jim and is Copyright 2005 J. F. Harrington |
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Q: Hi Jim,
I'm having some trouble with my relationship. Let me make that a bit clearer... I'm 18 and I'm going off to college in a few days. My girlfriend is still in high school. I love her to death and we have been together for 2 years. I am only going to school about an hour and fifteen minutes away from my home. I do not want to lose my girlfriend but I also want to live a normal college life. I am not really sure what to do. I figured that our relationship is only going to be as hard as we make it. Any advice?
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A: This is the key sentence in your message:
"I do not want to lose my girlfriend but I also want to live a normal college life." To me that sounds a bit selfish, presuming I know what you mean by "normal college life." You want to have your cake and eat it too. Being a short distance away, it seems you could keep the relationship intact if that's what you want. I sense it's not what you want. Here's a thought. With you out of the picture, she might find someone else, long before you do. Have you considered that? Before your departure, the two of you should definitely talk about what you expect from the relationship and how it might change with you being far away at college. This could avoid some serious hurting later on. |
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